Slice of Future

I sat on floor in disbelief,I was bleeding and I knew it wouldn't stop,mystified and numbed with pain to lose, some say you can’t lose something you never had...but i had you, though unpainted life or for an ounce moment..yet you were mine..

Ceasing day after endless day, while no ordinary human would cry all night over a tiny incomplete baby,for me, i felt like a slice of my future simply vanished.I lost a lifetime of desires,plans, dreams and aspirations...the sorrow and anguish down under just can’t be explained.Was I being punished for a sin I committed,or was this a lesson,I wouldn't know.

I never knew you existed for weeks,I found out the hard way that you were inside of me,I felt more close to you,I felt you so deep within me..I cherished and and trusted myself with your life,and what a life I had planned for you...

Not enough tears can be shed to express the love I have for you,No words can describe what I wanted to do for you.I would have just held you and inhaled in your sweet smell and bared you with all what i got in my life.

Your voice still echoes in my my mind, i struggle, on my bed trying to sleep.You were in my womb,I held you in my belly, told you so much about me one whole night,The dreams i had about you, ever so beautiful and so tiny unopened eyes , adorable lips and a small button nose,The delicate fingers and tiny toes..for which i knew...you were real inside me..and you would soon had to become..though, it all vanished so profoundly.

I wouldn't know when this hollow aching feeling would depart from my body.. I never could pretend that you never did exist.Struggled to find words to say,to try and make this suffering go away...Time has not moved on for me yet and i know there was no reason for you to stay while you had to leave,be in heaven as angel in the sky,filled with joy and laughter as time goes by.The numbness would have to disappear... you were an unforgettable part of me and i know that for sure..Our time will come...Tomorrow..